MURDER SHE SPOKE

Once known to have a Doctorate - that was subsequently dropped, denied and clarified the now plain, Ms. Mamata Banerjee is not unknown for her missing command over the English language. But that does not deter her to sally forth and lay down the accent rough and thick. She is known for her forceful delivery and killer dropping of articles speech making in English.

Mamata Banerjee Photo: TMC

While her name Mamata in Bengali could mean any and everything ranging from affection to love to empathy but when Ms. Banerjee speaks English there is no ‘mamata’ in her clubbing to death of the language with each misdirected word enunciating her political thrust and parry.

Now before we proceed further let us observe a moments silence in honour of the language that Ms. Banerjee so confidently murdered, once again, on 31st July 2018. The latest killing took place at the Constitution Club of India in Delhi and opened up a Pandora’s box of possibilities for her political rivals (a classification that with the new found timidity of the CPI(M) now solely rests with the BJP to justify.)

(SOUND OF SILENCE…heard over the heavy breathing of TMC supporters rolling up the sleeves over their rice and fish powered biceps and triceps)

Christianity lays a great store on practising the subtle act of forgiveness and the Archbishop of Kolkata must have pardoned her many times over for calling him Mishter Thawmash… but for us to poke fun at Mamata’s regional accent is certainly very heathenish so we will desist, for the moment, no matter how much it tickles our funny side.

The subject at the Constitution Club was LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR and the Chief Minister of West Bengal (soon to be Bangla) began by proclaiming —

…what I fill… I proud to say…Yes…bhi all lobh our nehibhour “.

Speaking about Mother Teresa she mentioned “I remember one two incident…”

She goes on to remember something that she says she did very seriously (whatever that meant) “…Once after Bubri Mosk demolition there is a big riot in Kolkata then I went to look around and move around everywhere…so one day I have seen…”

Later she says “Lubh your nehibhour…what is the meaning of love your nehibhour…the min-ing is bhery clear you have to lobh all…pharst of all you shud nut dibhide…you habh to lobh whum and you habh to not to lobh whum…”

Whilst all of this may seem very funny from possibly a teenager’s perspective of having some fun with accents and regional identities — the objective of pointing out Mamata Banerjee’s illusive diction in English is not to defame her but to put in context the righteous cacophony of noise being generated by the Right aligned forces hyping the BJP’s brand in the country.

In her speech when Mamata Banerjee raises a rhetorical question saying with her trademark mauling of the language — “I am Khristians that’s bhy I will bhi isolated…I am Muslims that’s bhy I will bhi isolated…I am Tyebells that’s bhy I will bhi isolated…I am Dolit that’s bhy I will bhi isolated…ifph it goes on like thes don’t you think it bhill create a civil bhar?… don’t you think it bhill create a blood bhar?

And that is what everyone latched on to… immediately the might of the Right brigade started chanting that Mamata Banerjee has threatened Civil War. The news channels and the websites and social media went into hyper drive. No one made fun of her usage of the English language. In all seriousness they decided to ignore the filling for feeling; the mirth of lubh your nehibhour; the mystery of I am Khristians and I am Tyebells.

No everyone simply latched on to the idea that Mamata Banerjee had said there will be a civil war.

Politics is so unpredictable because while 2 FIRs were registered in Assam after receiving complaints that Mamata’s statements are divisive in nature and may create animosity between communities in Assam the British missed their chance to make some sub-continental impact. Till the time of publishing this piece not a single FIR has been reported as having been registered by any aggrieved party in the UK over the threat of murder…because if Mamata Banerjee can be accused of having made a killing on 31st July 2018 it had to be that of the English language.

Queen Elizabeth of England and other domains: Picture dated at least 40 years ago

The British seem too busy with their own problems to be righteously upset over what Indians are doing to the remnants of their Raj in India — indigenising the language of their Queen.

But coming back to the TMC’s one and only favourite Didi what a wonderfully great whodunit could be named after her — MURDER SHE SPOKE and it works at so many levels.

She murdered what she spoke, she spoke of murder (of diversity) and then she threatened wide spread murder (as understood by Sangh supporters)

Wow — so maach phor lobh our nehibhour

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THE PUMPKIN SELLER

THE PUMPKIN SELLER

The Pumpkin Seller is a cynic and tends to observe life through a sceptic's prism. The use of pseudonym is deliberate to avoid bias that attaches to names.